Today he is one.

He’s getting so big. And he knows it.

Today is Gabe’s birthday. An entire year gone by far too quickly. Just a few weeks ago I turned to Kevin and woefully expressed how “we only have 18 left.” Then, my baby won’t so much be my baby anymore. In only a matter of 12 months he’s nestled a cozy little spot in my heart and is already beginning to discover a place of his own in this world. Watch out world, Gabriel Dayne is here!

He’s taught me more about myself in this short 12 months than I could have ever imagined. Just a couple that top the list: #1 Mommyhood is hard. really hard. But Grace flows freely. Grace from all directions: Gabe, Kevin, myself, God, friends that I don’t call back…etc. Like I said, lots of Grace.

#2. Life with Gabe is much more colorful. I’m not talking about the pureed carrots that still adorn my white kitchen curtains or Gabe’s blueberry stained chin or the multi-colored scattered blocks that always find their way back to my living room floor. I’m talking about his giggles, his goofy grin and the brilliant spark in his forever deep brown eyes that he gets when he goes into explorer mode.  Some days he refuses to sit anywhere but my hip. Some days  he’s like a blackhole or a magnet, insisting that everything in my hand (cups, plates, phones) belong in his. Some days I feel like I am at my wits end…and then he giggles. always the giggle. And with that, everything is right in the world.

How did he find the time to get this big, this fast? I’ve been told to watch him closely. “Time flies.” “They’re only a baby for so long.” It goes fast.” I was watching him closely.  But somehow he still snuck by me. My baby is now a toddler. I want to take him by the shoulders, look me in the eyes and promise me that a part of him will always be my baby. The part that giggles when I sing the Itsy bitsy spider or squeals with delight when he hears the running bathwater. Or the part that stands at the backdoor and yells jibberish at Andy when he goes outside. “Please, Gabe. Just keep a little bit of your ‘oneness’ forever. please?”

Happy Birthday, Bear.